An Epic Of Epic Fail

August 14th, 2010 by Kyle

K.O. in the first round.

Early box office numbers from Friday the 13th of August (via Bleeding Cool):

1. The Expendables (Lionsgate) NEW [3,270 Theaters]
Friday $13.5M, Estimated Weekend $34M

2. Eat Pray Love (Sony) NEW [3,082 Theaters]
Friday $9M, Estimated Weekend $26.5M

3. The Other Guys (Sony) Week 2 [3,651 Theaters]
Friday $5.7M (-56%), Estimated Weekend $17.2M, Estimated Cume $70M

4. Scott Pilgrim v The World (Universal) NEW [2,818 Theaters]
Friday $4.7M, Estimated Weekend $11M)

5. Inception (Warner Bros) Week 5 [3,120 Theaters]
Friday $3.4M (-38%), Estimated Weekend $11.5M, Estimated Cume $248.6M

So, looks like Scott Pilgrim is a Box Office Bob-omb.

I hate to say I told you so, but… hey, wait, no I don’t. Nobody wants to hear about the love lives of hipster d-bags. I didn’t, and neither did anybody else.

This also proves a point that I’ve been making for a long time: that pleasing hardcore geeks is not the key to success or failure for a sci-fi/superhero/comics film. It’s simply not a big enough demographic to matter all that much – not on the scale that Hollywood is used to. The geeky community was jazzed for this movie, gave it glowing reviews, generated huge internet buzz for it – and by Hollywood standards it was still a stinking flop because even though the geeks showed up for it in droves, it looks like they’re the only people who did. So remember that – the next time someone tells you that a superhero or sci-fi movie can’t succeed because it’s not doing right by the hardcore fans, point at the epic failure of Scott Pilgrim and remind them that that shows how much the hardcore geeks (really don’t) matter in Hollywood.

“Box Office Bob-omb”… HAH! I crack me up!

UPDATE: I call your attention to an excellent piece by John Tyler over at Cinema Blend, which explains in detail why Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (which Tyler actually liked) failed miserably at the box office. His points are very similar to mine, and the article is very much worth reading.

UPDATE II: I stand corrected. Scott Pilgrim didn’t come in fourth at the weekend box office. It came in fifth – behind Inception, which has been out for a month and a half. Hoo dawg is this movie ever a turkey.

UPDATE III: Wow. It’s actually gotten to the point where Scott Pilgrim is such a box office disaster that SP fans are writing open letters begging Twilight fans to come bail the movie out before it faces oblivion. Now that’s some desperation.

And it still won’t work. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: This movie bombed because no one cares about the love lives of a bunch of hipster d-bags. And say what you want about Edward, Bella, and Jacob – at least they aren’t that.

UPDATE IV: Ironically speaking of the above: In its second weekend, Scott Pilgrim got spanked by – wait for it – Vampires Suck. Vampires Suck came in second, making almost as much in one day as Scott Pilgrim, which came in tenth, has in a week. Oh, and Inception, in its sixth week, came in ninth, to beat Scott Pilgrim yet again.

Drop this movie on Afghanistan, because it’s a bomb.

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Categories: Movies

Scott Pilgrim vs. My Utter Indifference

August 3rd, 2010 by Kyle

Hell no, I won’t go.

One of my favorite movie review sites is the rather bombastic, but always funny Mr. Cranky’s Reviews. My favorite of his reviews was of Spice World. Let me reprint that review in its entirety:

“Three words: No fucking way”.

And indeed, that is how I feel about Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, the new movie from Edgar Wright that the Geeky community seems to have its panties in a knot over. And I know that I’m supposed to be similarly panty-knotted over a comic book movie, starring Michael Cera from Arrested Development and Superbad, directed by Edgar Wright of Shaun of the Dead. But I can’t work up a shred of enthusiasm for it.

And here’s why: In the end, after you put aside the retro-chic video game, anime, and action movie references, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is a story about the love lives of a bunch of hipster douchebags. And I just can’t bring myself, try as I might, to care about any of that.

Maybe it’s a matter of perspective. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. As anyone who lives here knows, San Francisco is absolutely overrun with hipster douchebags. You see them everywhere – with their carefully-selected “I’m too hip to care” clothes, their asinine piercings, their conspicuous and omnipresent white earbuds, and their perpetual smirks about the fact that their daddy-financed lives are just a big joke that no one but themselves is clever enough to be in on.

Forget the cancer that is killing /b/ – these idiots are the cancer that is killing San Francisco; a city that, for all its many faults, I desperately love. They want to turn the whole place into something that feels like one giant Apple Store.

So Scott Pilgrim is your typical unemployed loser amoral slacker idiot with a bunch of First World problems which seem to stem mainly from two things: 1) his unwillingness to leave a self-imposed perpetual adolescence, and 2) his pursuit of a promiscuous hipster chick who changes both bedmates and hair colors with alarming frequency. And then… stuff happens to them, I guess. All of which I couldn’t care less about. Again, I see too many of these people in my daily life, and don’t like them there either.

The long and the short of it is that I’m not going to pay ten dollars to see a movie about the lives of people I wouldn’t talk to if they were sitting next to me on the bus. And that’s not a hypothetical – they have sat next to me on the bus, and have tried to talk to me, and in response, I’ve turned my iPod up and pulled the cord so the bus would stop and let me out. Yes, I’d actually rather wait for the next bus in the rain than hear about people like Scott Pilgrim – so I’m damn sure not going to go spend two hours watching a movie about them.

Sorry Edgar – see you when Paul opens.

P.S Michael Cera needs to stop playing Michael Cera in all the movies he’s in. I mean every role he does – Superbad, Juno, Year One, Youth In Revolt – he plays the same goddamn character: the well-meaning, slightly goofy, slightly nerdy teenageish everyman. I mean, how bad is that when even his Superbad costar Christopher Mintz-Plasse managed to do something different when he played a villain in Kick-Ass? Or when the most interesting Michael Cera role in years was actually played by Jesse Eisenberg in Zombieland? Seriously, Cera needs to do something – anything – different, and he needs to do it right now.

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Categories: Movies