Scott Pilgrim vs. My Utter Indifference

August 3rd, 2010 by Kyle

Hell no, I won’t go.

One of my favorite movie review sites is the rather bombastic, but always funny Mr. Cranky’s Reviews. My favorite of his reviews was of Spice World. Let me reprint that review in its entirety:

“Three words: No fucking way”.

And indeed, that is how I feel about Scott Pilgrim vs. The World, the new movie from Edgar Wright that the Geeky community seems to have its panties in a knot over. And I know that I’m supposed to be similarly panty-knotted over a comic book movie, starring Michael Cera from Arrested Development and Superbad, directed by Edgar Wright of Shaun of the Dead. But I can’t work up a shred of enthusiasm for it.

And here’s why: In the end, after you put aside the retro-chic video game, anime, and action movie references, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is a story about the love lives of a bunch of hipster douchebags. And I just can’t bring myself, try as I might, to care about any of that.

Maybe it’s a matter of perspective. I live in the San Francisco Bay Area. As anyone who lives here knows, San Francisco is absolutely overrun with hipster douchebags. You see them everywhere – with their carefully-selected “I’m too hip to care” clothes, their asinine piercings, their conspicuous and omnipresent white earbuds, and their perpetual smirks about the fact that their daddy-financed lives are just a big joke that no one but themselves is clever enough to be in on.

Forget the cancer that is killing /b/ – these idiots are the cancer that is killing San Francisco; a city that, for all its many faults, I desperately love. They want to turn the whole place into something that feels like one giant Apple Store.

So Scott Pilgrim is your typical unemployed loser amoral slacker idiot with a bunch of First World problems which seem to stem mainly from two things: 1) his unwillingness to leave a self-imposed perpetual adolescence, and 2) his pursuit of a promiscuous hipster chick who changes both bedmates and hair colors with alarming frequency. And then… stuff happens to them, I guess. All of which I couldn’t care less about. Again, I see too many of these people in my daily life, and don’t like them there either.

The long and the short of it is that I’m not going to pay ten dollars to see a movie about the lives of people I wouldn’t talk to if they were sitting next to me on the bus. And that’s not a hypothetical – they have sat next to me on the bus, and have tried to talk to me, and in response, I’ve turned my iPod up and pulled the cord so the bus would stop and let me out. Yes, I’d actually rather wait for the next bus in the rain than hear about people like Scott Pilgrim – so I’m damn sure not going to go spend two hours watching a movie about them.

Sorry Edgar – see you when Paul opens.

P.S Michael Cera needs to stop playing Michael Cera in all the movies he’s in. I mean every role he does – Superbad, Juno, Year One, Youth In Revolt – he plays the same goddamn character: the well-meaning, slightly goofy, slightly nerdy teenageish everyman. I mean, how bad is that when even his Superbad costar Christopher Mintz-Plasse managed to do something different when he played a villain in Kick-Ass? Or when the most interesting Michael Cera role in years was actually played by Jesse Eisenberg in Zombieland? Seriously, Cera needs to do something – anything – different, and he needs to do it right now.

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Categories: Movies

9 Responses to “Scott Pilgrim vs. My Utter Indifference”

  1. Dan says:

    Yeah but Kyle, what do you _really_ think? :)

    I see your point about the hipsters. Here in deepest darkest Northern England we don’t get too many of them, and those that we do are too abnormal to be insidious.

    I’m going to watch it, but from the trailer do suspect it may well be a little two smug and clever for it’s own good. We’ll see.

    A Team tonight though! (I owe it to my 9 year old self to at least try and like it)

  2. bomblol says:

    scott pilgrim is a gigantic pile of sh*t but holy christ you are so into yourself and f*cking annoying and really about as bad as everything you describe in your sh*t articles

  3. Kenneth says:

    “And that’s not a hypothetical – they have sat next to me on the bus, and have tried to talk to me, and in response, I’ve turned my iPod up and pulled the cord so the bus would stop and let me out. ”

    I’m not a hipster, but you’re a douche.

  4. Impossible says:

    I’m afraid you’re really misinformed about this. If you saw Scott Pilgrim, you would know that it’s an action/comedy film, that’s more of a parody of what you’re whining about than actually being an example of it (the changing hair colours are an example of that). Scott Pilgrim isn’t a hipster movie loaded with game/comic references, it’s a video game/comic book in movie form. So not only does it not resemble the stupid things you’re complaining about, it’s also unlike pretty much any movie that’s been made before. Apparently you think that originality is pure hipster evil or something.

    I’m sorry that you can’t tell the difference between parody/comedy (of various things, not just the one thing you’re making it out to be) and actually playing something completely straight. It’s pretty ironic, considering there are a few moments mocking hipsters in the film, that people have arbitrarily chosen this inappropriate, ignorant label to attach to it.

    Scott is also actually pretty badass, and isn’t the well-meaning, goofy, teenaged everyman you’re stereotyping him as just because he’s being played by Michael Cera.

  5. Dave says:

    Okay, so I thought I’d jump in and add my own 2 cents or what ever my opinion is worth after devaluation. One the one hand, yes, Kyle is being unfair by judging this movie without even seeing it. But hey, this is the internet; this vast breakthrough in telecommunications and data networking was made for the explicit purpose of distributing opinions unfounded in reality. Such as our podcast. Also, don’t hate because we (meaning Kyle, mostly) use a *free* blog page to talk about our *free* podcast that we record with *free* software. You have a different opinion, great, make it heard with a podcast because it’s not like it costs anything other than time.

    Now, with that being said, I have yet to see Scott Pilgrim and will honestly reserve judgment until I do. Maybe it is a parody of hipster culture as has been opined. However, I can’t help but be reminded of my review of ‘Kick Ass’ (which I thoroughly enjoyed), where I said that Mark Millar making a parody story of 90’s comic book violence is pretty much the same as Larry Flynt making a parody story of pornography. I could be wrong but I think we can add Bryan Lee O’Malley doing a parody story of indie hipsters into that comparison.

    Oh, and Kyle, you’re a born and bred New Yorker. You should know that the proper response to someone bothering you with mindless blather on a subway is to scowl and say ‘You wanna fuggin shadup alreadys?’ Life in the Bay Area’s made you soft.

  6. Andrew says:

    Too bad the movie wasn’t really about hipsters at all. Game over. Try again?

  7. G says:

    I’m a huge Michael Cera hater and even i walked away from Scott Pilgrim liking his performance. He’s actually a douchbag in this film and he’s doing more than just “playing Michael Cera” especially when it comes to the physical aspect of the roll. You say Cera needs to do something different but then you neglect that in Scott Pilgrim he’s actually doing full blown action scenes that range from traditional martial arts fights to wire-fu and even sword fighting. None of his previous roles required that so indeed he is stretching himself.

  8. ChrisAshtear says:

    G- Yea is he ever.. Especially this scene

    Knives- Scott… I think I love you…
    Scott- Um….I think we should break up. or whatever.

  9. smithykins says:

    I’m a fifteen year old, and I can see that all you old fucks would not get this movie. It appeals to me, I love the retro Nintendo refrences and soundtrack, the garage punk music sex bob-omb play and Micheal Cera’s awkward teen acting. Everyone who hates this movie lives under a foggy media cloud; of that theyare to mortified and brainwash.

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