Come to the Dark Side. We Have Cookies.

August 31st, 2009 by Kyle

Unfortunately, long experience has given fandom plenty to fear with this buyout. Like I mentioned before, Disney has several hard-earned reputations that justify these fears. New Disney looks like it’s trying to shed them, but whether the attempt is successful or not remains to be seen. So, here’s how this particular paving of good intentions can lead right into downtown Hell.

1) X-Men, the Tween Years. Disney does have a tendency of putting every tween star they develop into multiple crossovers. ‘Kim Possible’, as fun as the series was, is a prime example. Miley Cyrus had the lead voice in ‘Bolt’. And Ponyo features the voices of Noah Cyrus (Miley’s little sis), and Frankie Jonas (little bro to the Jonas Brothers). And now I must go shower with Clorox and sandpaper for actually knowing of them. From Batman:The Animated Series through JLU, Bruce Timm had incredible voice actors who also happened to be minor celebrities. As long as Disney/Marvel can resist the urge to voice Zac Effron as Spider-Man, Miley as MJ Watson, Ashley Tisdale as Sue Storm, Raven-Symone as Storm, and Christy Carlson Romano as Jean Grey, things should be alright. Well…maybe Christy as Jean. That would be hot. And now I must shower in Clorox again…

2) Direct to DVD animation and movies. While I applaud John Lassiter on getting rid of the direct to DVD animation sequels before they started making such pieces of crap based on my beloved Robin Hood and The Sword In The Stone, Disney still skirts the fringes of the issue with things like the ‘Disney Fairies’ and ‘Disney Princess’ DVD’s. I realize these lines are meant for young girls, but as the proud uncle of a baby girl, I wouldn’t let my niece watch any of those once she’s old enough. From Duck Tales to Gargoyles to Kim Possible, Disney has shown that when they put effort into an animated series, the results are spectacular. They’ve also shown that when they rush things to make a quick buck, the results are horrendous.

3) You Can’t Do That With Disney. The censorship issue is another big one. Like I said, I have faith in John Lassiter to lay down the ‘Clobberin Time’ on the atmosphere of censorship at Disney. But I’ve put my faith in humanity before and gotten the scars to show for it. Bottom line: Marvel characters were born out of a desire for more mature storytelling. They were designed to reflect our own inner flaws and lives. While I agree that the voyeur aspect that comics have taken on in the past 10-15 years needs to be eliminated, the core of ordinary people with extraordinary powers and ordinary problems needs to remain. From Iron Man’s alcoholism, to Ben Grimm’s feelings of isolation, to the X-Men analogy of the struggle of minority groups to find acceptance, even to Northstar’s on the spot ‘let’s be the first company to do this’ declaration of homosexuality, it all needs to stay in. As I’ve said many times before, adaptations of popular characters are ruined by re-imagining them outside the intent of their origins.

So, there we have it. Like everything in life, there’s potential for both good and bad in this decision. This time, though, I’m going to be cautiously optimistic about this.

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One Response to “Come to the Dark Side. We Have Cookies.”

  1. Vickster says:

    And you should be optimistic. Disney will have their hands tied for a while since most Marvel characters have their rights owned by rivals. Like Paramount has Ironman, and 20th Century Fox can make X-Men movies in perpetuity.

    Honestly I'm bitter because Disney is just so cute and cuddly.

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